Every single morning when you got off the bus at school, you didn?t head to class.

You didn?t go see your friends.

You didn?t even stop to breathe.

You ran.

You ran to every goddamn bulletin board in the building.

Not to see if anyone was selling a dirt bike.

Not to see what social event was happening.

Not because you were involved in student life.

You ran because Eddy was involved in your life.

That bastard always had some new bullshit poster of you plastered everywhere.

Hallways.

Cafeteria.

Outside classrooms.

Bathrooms if he could reach the tape.

I swear to Christ the man should have gone into advertising.

His posters caught everyone?s attention.

Teachers.

Students.

Janitors.

Girls I had crushes on.

No wonder I never dated much.

Eddy always found the worst possible photo of you.

The kind of picture where your face looks like it?s mid sneeze mid shit and mid regret.

Then he?d add his special touch.

This man?s imagination was dangerous.

What I never understood was why he wouldn?t put half that effort into his homework.

Design takes time.

Creativity takes focus.

This asshole had a new one every single day.

My all time worst one was the masterpiece.

He took a picture of me with the full I just shit myself look on my face and slapped it on the body of a fat, hairy guy.

I mean FAT.

HAIRY.

Lime green thong.

White wife beater.

Pizza stains included.

I still don?t know where in the fuck he found that picture.

What magazine sells that nightmare.

Across the top in big bold letters

LOOKING FOR A DATE FOR THE PROM

Off to the side

Not fussy

Will pay for the whole date

That thing was everywhere.

At first, it?s funny.

You laugh.

You play it cool.

By the twenty seventh time it?s not funny anymore.

It?s not funny when you?re sprinting around the entire fuckin school like an escaped inmate trying to rip posters down before first period.

Teachers looking at you.

Kids laughing.

Girls readin' the fine print.

This guy needs a date for the prom!!

I was always late for class.

Always out of breath.

Always pissed off.

And Eddy he?d just be standing there smiling already workin on tomorrow?s masterpiece.

Some people peak in high school.

????Others survive it.

??????????????...and that's callin' it like it is!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Canadian artist & digital troublemaker Colin John Cook shares his louder-than-life, awkward, and honest-as-hell stories. Packed with humour, real talk & creative insights in a no filter, digital comedy space that laughs at life & calls it like it is. He is also the Founder and President of

The Hidden Gallery - Art Studio & Micro Theatre

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