I read somewhere that some lions have sex fifty times a day.

Fifty?Times?A?Day!!!

Which immediately raises a few questions.

First of all? when?

Because I?m tired after looking at the lawnmower.

Second? how?

And third? who the hell is counting?

You picture a lion reading that stat like!

Yeah? that sounds about right.

Meanwhile, I?m sitting there thinking if I have sex once, I need a snack, a nap, and a couple positive affirmations just to recover.

Fifty times a day isn?t passion.

That?s a schedule.

That?s not romance, that?s cardio with consequences.

No wonder lions sleep all day.

That?s not laziness.

That?s recovery.

And you know damn well nobody?s complaining in the lion den about chores or communication.

There?s no

?We need to talk.?

It?s just

Eat.

Nap.

Repeat.

Overachieve.

???

Meanwhile, humans read that stat and feel bad about themselves for a solid thirty seconds before remembering they have jobs, bills, and knees that sound like popcorn.

Lions don?t have responsibilities.

They don?t have back pain.

They don?t have a fridge full of leftovers and regret.

So yeah? good for them.

I?ll stick to being king of the couch.

?????????????...and that's callin' it like it is!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Canadian artist & digital troublemaker Colin John Cook shares his louder-than-life, awkward, and honest-as-hell stories. Packed with humour, real talk & creative insights in a no filter, digital comedy space that laughs at life & calls it like it is. He is also the Founder and President of

The Hidden Gallery - Art Studio & Micro Theatre

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