Look, your time should be spent doing things you actually enjoy.

Fishing.

Drinking beer.

Staring at a wall in peace.

Not sitting in a hospital waiting room hacking up a lung

...or wondering why a stranger with cold hands is about to shove a finger up your ass.

That is where Horsespleen Hospital comes in.

We are proud to offer a new and improved outpatient service.

Yes.

We only make you wait four and a half hours to see a doctor.

Four and a half.

That is down from all fuckin day.

We know there is nothing worse than bleeding quietly into a chair until you either pass out

...or start reconsidering every life choice that brought you there.

We also understand that you cannot sit there all day, with a bone crushed in your ankle, while someone beside you is explaining their sniffles to a nurse like it is a TED Talk.

The pain is unbearable.

The whining is worse.

With today?s advanced technology and equipment, we barely understand we can look at people with the common cold or flu in a jiffy and send them on their way faster than you can say "I probably didn?t need to come here".

The sooner we deal with the whiners, the sooner we can look at the people who are actually falling apart.

We are striving to look after everyone.

Just not equally.

So come on down to Horsespleen Hospital, where triage is a suggestion and patience is optional.

Fantastic specials.

Super savings.

Pain in every aisle.

HORSESPLEEN HOSPITAL

Come for the car, stay because you have no choice.

?????????????...and that's callin' it like it is!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Canadian artist & digital troublemaker Colin John Cook shares his louder-than-life, awkward, and honest-as-hell stories. Packed with humour, real talk & creative insights in a no filter, digital comedy space that laughs at life & calls it like it is. He is also the Founder and President of

The Hidden Gallery - Art Studio & Micro Theatre