Have you ever notice every eye doctor ad sounds like they are whispering directly into your soul.

Gentle care.

Advanced technology.

Vision experts.

Meanwhile, you are walking around looking like someone smacked you in the forehead with a two by six and your eyeballs are still trying to figure out what year it is.

One eye looking straight ahead.

The other one checking the back of your skull for snacks.

You are not squinting.

You are scanning for survivors.

And somehow every mirror you pass just lets this continue.

No intervention.

No warning.

That is where One Fucked Up Eye Vision Center comes in.

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That is right!

Professional eye care for those little fucked up peepers of yours

For a fraction of the price of the other places in town that smell like carpet cleaner and quiet judgment.

No more walking into rooms sideways.

No more winking at people by accident.

No more reading a stop sign as ?Soup.?

Our vision experts believe they can fix anything.

Cross eyed.

Lazy eyed.

Eyes that wander off mid conversation like they got bored and left without you.

These people are confident.

Suspiciously confident.

They look at your chart and say

Oh yeah, we?ve seen worse

which is both comforting and deeply unsettling.

Call today to make an appointment.

Before one eye applies for citizenship somewhere else.

One Fucked Up Eye Vision Center

Because depth perception is not a personality trait.

?????????????...and that's callin' it like it is!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Canadian artist & digital troublemaker Colin John Cook shares his louder-than-life, awkward, and honest-as-hell stories. Packed with humour, real talk & creative insights in a no filter, digital comedy space that laughs at life & calls it like it is. He is also the Founder and President of

The Hidden Gallery - Art Studio & Micro Theatre

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