You?re not gonna believe this but apparently some genius out there actually did a study on people who flush the toilet while they?re still sittin on it.

Yeah.

While still parked on the bowl.

Who the hell thought this needed research?

And even better who the fuck admitted to doing it?

Like seriously what kind of psychopath flushes mid dump?

What?s the mission here buddy trying to give yourself a reverse bidet from hell?

Nobody wants that tidal wave of toilet water firing straight up the crack like

Old Faithful on a timer.

That?s how you summon demons.

And hold up if you?re still sittin there how the hell are you wiping?

What?s the plan spin around like you?re in Cirque du Fuckin Solei?

???

People treating their bathroom time like an extreme sport.

And while we?re at it why do people read on the toilet?

You?re not studying philosophy you?re takin a shit.

You really wanna sit there marinating in your own fumes for twenty extra minutes like a slow cooker of shame?

You don?t need a chapter of War and Peace you need ventilation.

And how the hell can you focus on the plot when your own ass is producing a chemical weapon?

Close the book finish the mission and evacuate the area before the fumes violate a Geneva Convention.

?????????????...and that's callin' it like it is!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Canadian artist & digital troublemaker Colin John Cook shares his louder-than-life, awkward, and honest-as-hell stories. Packed with humour, real talk & creative insights in a no filter, digital comedy space that laughs at life & calls it like it is. He is also the Founder and President of

The Hidden Gallery - Art Studio & Micro Theatre

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