Ever had a dog in the garbage?

Holy Crap, it?s never just a snack.

Nope - this little bastard turns it into a demolition derby.

Bag shredded, coffee grounds on the driveway, chicken bones in the flowerbed, banana peels hangin? off the mailbox.

Looks like I hosted a block party for raccoons.

And there he is - layin? on the step like ?Yeah, I did it. And I?ll do it again.?

Chin on paws.

Sad eyes.

Total guilt face.

Doesn?t matter what you say - he?s a career criminal.

You KNOW he?s waitin? for his next chance.

Fast forward an hour - quiet night, TV?s on - then I hear that sound.

Rustle? rustle?

The garbage symphony.

I peek out and sure enough - this dumb prick?s got his whole head jammed into the bag.

Looks like a trick-or-treater dressed up as ?Dumpster Dog.?

I blow the door open: ?WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?

???

He damn near explodes - eyes bug out, legs spinning, tail tucked so tight it?s stapled to his belly.

Takes off across the yard like a bat outta hell? still WEARING the garbage bag on his head.

Trips over it four times, does a front flip, finally shakes it off, then peeks at me from behind a bush like he?s in the FBI?s Witness Protection Program.

And I?m supposed to be mad. But hell, I?m doubled over laughin? so hard I can?t breathe.

Yard looks like the town dump, neighbours think I?ve got a side hustle as Waste Management.

I just mutter: ?Fuck it. I?ll clean it tomorrow.?

?????????????...and that's callin' it like it is!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Canadian artist & digital troublemaker Colin John Cook shares his louder-than-life, awkward, and honest-as-hell stories. Packed with humour, real talk & creative insights in a no filter, digital comedy space that laughs at life & calls it like it is. He is also the Founder and President of

The Hidden Gallery - Art Studio & Micro Theatre

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